chichi

What a psycho day. Seriously.

I didn’t have time to eat. These things don’t even HAPPEN in my life. I make fun of those people who “forget” to eat. and although i didn’t forget, and I wasn’t doing it for weight loss either, I simply didn’t have time.

I started the day with a normal breakfast (not healthy, just normal for what I’ve usually been eating) and afterwards I started running around and taking care of problems like always. Normal day at work….

Was I ever wrong. =/

I was getting ready to get out for lunch when I was told that a leadership training class, which I am the only one certified to facilitate, had been scheduled from 1-5pm that afternoon. SURPRISE! I’m thinking “It’s noon, and I have to go to the conference room to prep everything, and I’m hungry.”….. so, I knew I wouldn’t have enough time to prep if I stopped to get food (another reason to have health snacks on hand) so I went to work on prepping for my four hour training session that I had no choice but to facilitate.

The class started promptly at 1 and I “sang and danced” for them (not literal, but it does take a bunch of energy to get everyone pumped about being a leader *rolls eyes*). The class went well and was over right at 5pm. That’s when I look down at my phone for the first time in 4 hours and see that my work buddies are going to the gym at 5:15, specifically to give me time to get there.

so, I weigh the options.
I can go home, and eat, sit in front of the tv, and not move…
or I can go support my friends, sweat a bit, and stick to my goals.

I went to the gym. =)

I only did 30 minutes of working out, but at least I did SOMETHING and felt really good afterwards (wasn’t even hungry anymore). I got home after, let the dog run around in the snow outside, and then sat down to eat the nice meal that my husband had prepared for me before going to work (he works nights, i works days). I can now relax feeling more accomplished that I didn’t give up even when I was tired/hungry/cranky/etc.

I am, obviously, not endorsing my “no time for lunch” diet. and I do not plan on doing that again, so tomorrow I’m going to go shopping for healthy snacks to keep at work and oatmeal for a better breakfast option.

but for now, I’ll relax. I earned it today.
Day 3 was a good day after all.

Alright, so, I’ve been missing in action for quite some time. I know… bunch of things have happened… I’ve had people move in with us, I’ve had vacations, I’ve had work which forces me to travel more often, I’ve had a close family member die. Are these all excuses??.. some yes.. maybe even the majority.

But, either way, excuses aren’t allowed here. right?

What brings me back to the wagon? Other than trying to get healthy and giving all of YOU my support?? =)

Well, last Friday I was chatting it up with some co-workers, basically because none of us wanted to work, and someone brings up about starting a weight loss group. Not sure exactly how we got on this conversation, maybe because we’re all on the plumper side, but it got me thinking that I had said I was going to do this and well.. I haven’t done anything. I jumped in and said “let’s do it” and everyone got excited.

And then someone said “yes! On Monday.”

I thought we were doomed.
On Monday?!
Let’s start now! RIGHT?!

I figured if we had a weekend to think about actually getting on this wagon, it might not happen. A weekend is a long time to think about whether or not we’re going to change our life. It should be easy, but for some of us…, okay, for me,… I’ve been on a diet the majority of my life and I have yet to actually be able to get to a goal. I thought by having the whole group do this then we’ll have daily, ongoing, constant, in your face support. I was disappointed, but thought well, I’ll at least try it myself if no one else does.

But, On Monday I was happily surprised as we all sat together and said “We’re Ready!” and that’s when I really got excited. We all went together and joined the local gym after finding out that our corporate discount leaves the monthly payment at little more than a meal at Wendy’s. We made a pact that we’re going to take it slow and easy and weren’t going to go all crazy with it. We’re going to make a lifestyle change, and that can’t be done over night. We didn’t work out after registering yesterday. Well, at least not at the gym. I did, however, pull out my yoga mat from the back of my closet when I got home and did a half hour yoga practice. I haven’t done Yoga in years, so it was nice to get back to something I did love before (I stopped doing Yoga after I injured my wrist during a handstand and never picked it up again. that was more than 6 years ago) I felt really good and refreshed after. (At least temporarily, I got a massive headache afterwards. Maybe I’m allergic to exercise after all??)

Then today we went to the gym for our first official work out. I started kinda embarrassed because I knew quite a few people there (living in such a small town), but I pushed it out of my mind, ignored everyone except for my group, and got to work on me. Spent about 30 minutes on the treadmill and then about 15 on the elliptical. I was exhausted afterwards but felt really proud of myself for doing this.

We’re going back tomorrow for day 2 (my day 3) and I already can’t wait for our official weigh in on Tuesday. But, I know, One day at a time.

But, hey, at least now I’m back on this wagon!

I’ve been so sick… I’m still sick. I’ve been sick since last friday. so, I guess that’s what I get for starting my exercise routine?..

*sighs*
*coughs*

I spent all last weekend in bed and although I haven’t missed a single day of work, I probably should have stayed home. I was feeling a bit better yesterday, so I went to a grilling event for work (we bring out grills and do a cookout for the community) and I guess that smoke from the grill finished me off because today i feel AWFUL. I went to work like usual, but by noon I had to leave and take a three hour nap before going back. At least that’s a perk for being the boss. i haven’t done any exercise this week.. and I feel a bit guilty.. but I honestly feel pretty bad.

BUT
I have lost weight. I’ve lost 5 pounds (although my ticker says otherwise). so I’m encouraged even though I feel like crap. I’ve been eating better and when I weighed myself (it was actually last monday) I was so psyched I didn’t care about the snot pouring out of my nose (sorry, bad visual).

I suspect I’ll be fully cured this weekend, so I’ll be starting up monday on the exercise again. till then, I’m stocking up on nyquil/dayquil and vitamins.
*cough*

No, seriously.. it’s kicking my butt.

I started the routines yesterday. I realized that I’m no where NEAR where I’m supposed to be in order to even begin the program. See, I guess you have to have a certain level of fitness already before beginning, and although I’m not clumsy, or rigid, or even THAT out of shape… this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Don’t get me wrong, I’m doing it, completely modified, but I am. That kinda feels good. I sweat like a cow (completely through my shirt today) and my face and neck are red for about an hour afterward (i look like I got sunburned). But I complete the workout and I can visualize the progression. Plus I’ve got that oh so good burn in my rear right now. haha!

What doesn’t feel good is the lack of energy I have. I have been taking some supplements to help (mostly of the B variety) but I’m exhausted. What is attributing to this?… WORK!…… just today I started work at 4:45am, and didn’t get out until 6:00pm…. *sighs* I work human resources in a major food processing plant that is unfortunately a 24/7 production. I’m the assistant hr manager, so a lot more gets put on my plate. In addition to that, not to toot my own horn, but i’m a bit smarter than the rest of my department so i get picked for all the “fun” projects/conference calls/discussions/problem employees etc. Now I promised myself that as soon as I started this exercise process that I would be going home earlier, and yesterday i did.. but, I just couldn’t get away today. To top everything off, my husband woke me up at 2am when he got home because our dog has started her period (again). So i slept about 4 hours last night. (This dog issue needs its own blog.. serious)

BUT, even without the energy, i put my sneakers on and did my exercise. One day at a time… one day.
I feel like dying… but in a totally good way.

I’ll try this again..

Back Before
Front Before

I’ve been working insanely crazy hours this past week and some. Yep, that’s my excuse so far.. but do not fear my friends, although I’ve been missing in action this past week, I have been busy creating my “weight loss plan” (in between watching “So You Think You Can Dance” haha). I was flipping through some tv and came across QVC one late night and saw they were selling the P90X program. I had seen a tidbit of this program before on some paid programming (that I’m usually making fun of) and I’m always worried about being ‘brainwashed’, but i watched the segment and it just looked like something I could do. and hell, with anything, as long as you’re consistent it will work, right?…
and without thinking another moment about it, i jumped online and bought it before I could trick myself out of the idea.

My husband laughed. Mostly because he thinks I’ll just buy it and throw it in the back of the closet. but no, not this time.. I’ll SHOW HIM!

Today I received the package… wow… looks more intense than i thought. I spent this afternoon reading through the program, figuring out how it works, and mentally prepping for my first day tomorrow. P90X has 3 versions of the same plan. I’m starting on the “lean” version, which according to them is based for more cardio and less upper body strength. I think this is more aligned with my weight loss goals, so that’s where we are starting. This is a 90 day program…… there is no day off. After the first 90 days are done on the “lean” version, I plan on jumping to the next level (the “classic), and so on (the “double”).

I called my husband at work a bit ago and told him about the whole system finally arriving today and that he should do it as well. He’s a bit more traditional when it comes to exercising. He just likes to run. that’s it. so, I’m trying to help him as well so that he doesn’t bore so quickly. He said he’d look at it, but there isn’t much more pushing I can do being that he and I are basically on two different shifts (I work days, he works nights) He did say he started his “Atkins Diet” today, but I’m trying to change his mind about that (man, I just realized that I’m kinda pushy for not wanting to be “brainwashed” ha!). Don’t get me wrong, I lost 20 pounds once on Atkins, but I was so weak and sick, as well as developing a cholesterol issue afterwards, I gained weight the moment I ate a piece a bread. At least he’s doing something, as opposed to stuffing his face with anything he can find *laughs*. I, on the other hand, don’t have a food plan yet, though one did come with the P90X plan. I’m going to continue my “shut your pie hole” diet as I start up the work out program, and then concentrate on getting a wholesome/healthy food plan.

On another note, I took my “before” pictures today. Pretty scary considering I haven’t seen my backside in awhile. but, it’s done. i don’t have measuring tape, so I’ll take care of my measurements tomorrow before my first work out. It was actually kinda funny taking them since I don’t have anyone who can help (the dog still hasn’t mastered the use of the digital camera just yet), so I had to take the picture through the guest room dresser mirror (since its bigger). I attached them in the following post (mostly because I screwed it up completely)… no going back now. *winces*

I’m excited though.. it’s nice to finally have a plan.

So… I signed up for this site a few weeks ago.. and just like everything else I do, I started with gusto, and fell flat 10 minutes later. There is no real reason for it other than just pure lack of motivation, which really isn’t a real reason either.

I tell myself that I don’t have time because I work 60 hours a week. I tell myself there are more important things to do. I say “a donut or two won’t hurt” even though I ate 5. I tell myself I’ll work out after this tv show, or after this or that. and hell, sometimes I’m just tired. just plain ‘ole tired. but, in the end I haven’t done anything for no real reason at all.

But, last week (yeah, it’s taken me a week to get here. go figure) I was traveling for work and staying in one of those hotels with the full sized mirrors in the bathrooms. I was in desperate need of a warm shower after a long day traveling and I started up the bath while I stripped. Just then, I turned and looked at myself fully nude in probably the first time in a long time. I stood there, with the water already running in the shower, and just looked at myself in horror. How could I have let myself go this far for this long? I was disgusted with my body. I just couldn’t believe it was really me. At that moment I said I had to do something.. this couldn’t go on anymore. I could think of no real reason why I shouldn’t change my life right then and there.

I’m 26 years old and my birthday is coming up soon enough. I’ve been married for almost 4 years now to a wonderful man (who has also gained a bunch of “marriage weight”). He doesn’t seem to notice, or really care much about my weight, because he still runs after me like it was our honeymoon. I weighed 115 pounds when I met him 8 years ago (I am 5′4), and weighed about 160 when we got married in 2005. I am now currently at 195, almost 4 years later. I know you gain weight when you’re in a happy, stable marriage, but this is a bit extreme.

I struggled with being overweight in my younger years, until I was about a senior in highschool where I believe stress and an overbooked schedule “helped” me get so thin that my mother took me to the doctor to get checked. I hung out between 110/115 lbs through my first year of college, when i met my husband. We lived in a small town, with not much to do other than go to the movies and eat at restaurants. We were both quite active during that time (I worked in a library where I was constantly moving, as well as being on a college campus all day. my husband, along with his own classes, was training to be an officer) so the pounds crept up quite slowly. it wasn’t until we graduated, and started planning our wedding that we BOTH realized how far our ‘dates’ had gone. And well, after getting married, I guess there wasn’t a point in losing the weight either since we already had “baited and hooked” one another.

But now we are at a point in our lives where we are trying to have a baby but I’ve realized that my weight, and my health, may be a risk factor. and if I got pregnant today…. the weight I would gain after/during the pregnancy… would be much too much… at least health wise, I’m relatively healthy. No major problems going on, except for a high cholesterol issue and some migraines.

what I have noticed is that one of my faults is that I just don’t take care of myself. I’m busy taking care of everyone else (my husband, my dog, a family member, a coworker) that I don’t ever dedicate any time to just “me”. so, I started doing just that. See, my husband works night shift.. I hardly see him during the week at all.. there should be no reason that I can’t dedicate my week nights to doing things that I want to do. screw house work. I don’t need to clean the house every single day. screw extra work hours. The work will be there tomorrow. if I want to get a massage, I’m going to book it. If I want to get my nails done, I’m going to go. I tivo the shows I want to watch, and watch them at home late at night, right before bed, when I’m alone… it’s actually wonderful. and i do feel quite happy. now that I’m at this point, i realize that part of the “taking care of myself” means I need to incorporate diet and exercise.

I have no real reason not to.

Here I am at the beginning……
It’s going to be difficult to keep on it.
it’s going to be difficult to stay motivated.
I’m finally, officially, up for the task.